I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
