If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
