Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
