have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
