Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
