yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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