yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
