when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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