I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
