They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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