so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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