We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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