So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
