i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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