im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
