Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
