I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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