Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
