plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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