Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
There r osticjed everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize