It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
