I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize