Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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