I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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