Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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