Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
All I want is dick and wine.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
