I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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