I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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