What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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