fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
