Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Oh god it's open bar.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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