This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you traded sex for a burrito?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize