There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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