dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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