talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
