you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
