You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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