bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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