i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
