her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I had to cum in my sink.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
