Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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