Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
