Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
