you're like a bully in the Christmas story
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
