He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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