dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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