Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
