His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
accomplished twins. life is a go
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
