Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
