We're like a lot better than the average bears
you would pick up someone in the library
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
