I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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