When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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