This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Is Oprah even human
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
