I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I AM VODKA MAN
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
