OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
