Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize