Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
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i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
you inspire me to be a worse person
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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