Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
