It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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