laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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